THURSDAY CONVERSATIONS WITH THE HANDICAP

INTERVIEWER: 

How is your trip to THE ROOM?

INTERVIEWEE:

They pass by me. I know they gossip about me. They gape at me and miss their steps, like I’m the first handicap they’ll ever see. I continue to walk. I pay them no attention. It’s what they want, but I won’t give it; I can’t give it.

As I approach THE ROOM, they sloppily fall into groups of threes and fours. Their words are shrill in my head, but my world is silent.  

I enter into THE ROOM and find my mum lying on our ragged mat, looking rather vulnerable. How we both fell into this limbo remains a mystery. I move closer to her and gaze into her grief-stricken eyes, expressing agony at its peak. She mouths the words ‘I love you’ and I wish I can hear her, but I can’t. I’m deaf…

…they continue talking, but my world is silent.

Best friends to strangers: A letter to my best friend

(Set in the year 2000 and something)

I hissed just about the same time you did

I remembered the echoed “jinks” from our other friends

We knew each other so well, we soaked into each other

I knew what you’d say minutes before you did

I knew your take on any issue even before the discussion started

But now, I don’t know

Remember when we filled each other’s questionnaires

We got all the questions right

Remember when your grandpa died, I cried because you cried

That night, you fell asleep on my weary shoulder

I felt helpless just like you did.

At his funeral, remember how hard we danced, we had forgotten so quickly how sorrowful we had felt …

…because your mum had told us it was a thing of joy for ‘papa Nnukwu’ to have died at an “old ripe age”

I remember how we laughed at the way your mum’s lips curved when she said ‘old ripe age’;

How we teased her that it sounded like ‘oh dry page’

We couldn't do without seeing each other in a day

But now that haven’t seen you in a year, I don’t know

I remember my twentieth birthday, we had a blast

Remember how we laughed at the ‘karaoke girl’

Her voice sounded like a battered car engine

Remember the picture we took with our boyfriends, I’m holding it now

I remember the day after that night; permit me, the night after that day, June 28^th 1999

 when you were announced to be missing

I tore out every poster I saw declaring it.

I wished it was a dream, and I hoped that I’d wake up soon

I knew you were missing, and I didn't need a sheet of paper to remind me of that.

I waited 365 days saying a prayer for you each one of them.

I remember yesterday when I heard you had been found, my joy knew no bounds

I waited anxiously

And now that you are back, I don’t know

INTERVIEW WITH THE IFEANYI NWUNE (Updated)

 "Comfort is the greatest enemy of achievement"- Ifeanyi Nwune

I'd describe Fashion as Ifeanyi Nwune  an art (although the former is more valid). Ifeanyi Nwune is a model, brand ambassador fashion designer and the current winner of Redefinition 2014.  In his interview with SocioInspiration. He tells us the secret to his success! Enjoy :)

SocioInspiration: Hello Ifeanyi

Ifeanyi: Hello

SocioInspiration: Can you introduce yourself?

Ifeanyi: My name is Ifeanyi Nwune. I’m nineteen. I come from a family of six, my parents and   three siblings. We are four boys and I’m the last.

SocioInspiration: You are a stylist, is there anything else you do?

Ifeanyi: Yes. I'm also a menswear designer and creative director.  I just launched my debut collection named Control.

SocioInspiration: So how did you get your first gig?

Ifeanyi: I got my first gig when I was in hundred level at Arise Magazine Fashion week. Though it was a low paying job, it exposed me to a lot of experience and got me to connect with a lot of notable people in the fashion industry. The money was the least on my mind at that time.

SocioInspiration: How did you get that opportunity?

Ifeanyi: Umm, I think they put the opportunity online, and I applied for it and told my friend Terence Sambo to put in word for me. So he did, and I went for some interview and got to work with them

SocioInspiration: What’s styling about?

Ifeanyi: Styling is sort of like putting together an image for someone.  Most people in the public eye like to focus on their craft/field for more productivity, so a stylist is there to assist them in looking as "fly" as the work they produce. Proper coordination of the clothes to fit the client’s lifestyle and comfort is always put to consideration.

Also, we get to work with magazines and fashion event to ensure that the clothing pieces are represented in the best possible way for better appreciation.

Presently, I'm the personal stylist to Dr Sid and Choc City's Dj Caise  I've also gotten to work with Complete Fashion Mag, Red Sheet Mag, Uti, Wande Coal, Tunde Ednut, Elite Model Look, just to mention a few.

SocioInspiration: What motivates you?

Ifeanyi: Seeing the luxury lifestyle and status of successful people in the same field, drives me to work to be better than them.

Socioinspiration: Did you always know you wanted to be a stylist?

Ifeanyi: Honestly, not at all. But thank God I discovered I really appreciated "dopeness" and creating stuff at an early age.

SocioInspiration: So what exactly do you consider an achievement from you?

Ifeanyi: I did my first fashion work when I was sixteen.

SocioInspiration: So how has your journey to success been?

Ifeanyi: It's been quite exciting actually. Someone said, "it’s best to enjoy your journey to the top while it lasts, because once you get to the top, all you can do is fall". So I've been trying to enjoy every bit of it, even when it’s hard sometimes.  I take it all as experiences and learn from them. Trying something out is the only way to learn to do it.

Plus, my focus of where I want to be in life has been of great help to me. It has helped me realize you really don’t need everyone as "friends", but people with the positive energy to help you achieve your dreams.

I’ve also learnt to fight the idea of ‘yes men’. They sort of force you to accept the status quo, without you even knowing it. They appear positive, but when you think deep, you realise they actually derail your focus on where you initially want to be. So when they praise me, not like I don't appreciate them, but then I still have in mind what I'm yet to do. Comfort is the greatest enemy of achievement.

SocioInspiration: How do you combine school with all these?

Ifeanyi: It’s really hard multitasking. But then, I have to do what I have to do to stay relevant. People in the outside don’t care if you have school, you just have to be professional and appear when needed unless you'll be seen as unserious and hardly get any jobs.

SocioInspiration: What’s next for you?

Ifeanyi: Creating! Trying to make more stuff. More "dopeness" that people can wear and feel happy with. I want to ensure that guys do not have to spend so much on good clothes, or travel all the way just to find good clothing.

SocioInspiration: What’s your advice to readers?

Ifeanyi: Err..my advice is that you should stay in school, don’t do drugs (laughs). My advice is that they should keep doing whatever they feel they can do and make profit out of it.

ON A LIGHTER NOTE

SocioInspiration: Are you in a relationship?
Ifeanyi: no

SocioInspiration: Why?

Ifeanyi: Nothing. Not been in one for a while now. But definitely someday soon. (wink)

SocioInspiration: And have you had any girls ask you out?

Ifeanyi: Yes. I think it’s quite interesting when they do that. But then, I appreciate it more when it’s me that does the asking.

SocioInspiration: How do you cope with ‘haters?’

Ifeanyi: I don’t. I try as much as possible to ignore them even though it’s hard. But when sensible criticism is made, I take it into consideration because it helps sometimes. But lowkey, I've gotten to meet some of my "haters" and when get to know each other, we tend to become best of friends. Most times it’s just misunderstanding and wrong perspective that creates such.

Twitter and Instagram - @ifeanyinwune

Email address: ifeanyinwune@gmail.com

Broken Pieces: Episode 2

Ore

I’ve arrived at Damola’s place, my phone rings again, I don’t want to waste his credit. Plus, it’s more romantic when I visit unexpectedly. He likes it when I come that way.

I say some prayers in my head. The words “we need to talk” are ringing loud in my head. I’m still in the car and I don’t want to come out just yet. I speak to my Father, the One who had prepared this lovely day for me; the day I have always dreamt about. I remember back then when I hungered to be in a relationship but He told me to take it slowly. Now I’m glad I did because His time has truly proven to be the best. Not being in a relationship for so long was intimidating and depressing. I was lonely, but God has finally brought my own to me. Today, to the man whom my world revolves around, I’m ready to offer all of me, to make him my last. I’m ready to be the keeper of all he has, the keeper of him and the mother of his offspring. I’m getting rather cheesy. I take a deep breath as I step out of my car and let out a sigh of relief as I unlock it.

Damola

She’s not still answering her phone. Could the network get any worse? I hear the sound of a revving car. It’s quiet now. I think it’s Leila, the girl I want to marry. I’m wondering why she didn't call before coming.

A few minutes have gone by, but there’s no one at my door step. I soon hear footsteps, similar to Ore’s. I think she’s the one. The way she knocks on the door confirms my thought. How could it be possible that she is here? I hurry to my room and bring out the poem. I don’t know how she’ll take it but there’s nothing I can do. I’m 27 years old and she’s 26 and a few months, almost my age. I can’t marry her. I want someone younger, like Leila. Ore enters in…

Ore

…the day we met, my joy knew no bounds

 And I wished my love for you would never end

I never imagined that today would bring a halt to the bitter-sweet years

I said I’d marry you, I lied, I’m sorry.

The words “I lied, I’m sorry” were resounding in my ears and I could think of nothing else. I walked out in silence. I hoped that I was being teased. I hoped that he would take back all he had just said but he stood there staring at me like an historic statue. I wanted to hit him, but the anger I felt had become pain; the enthusiasm had become dust. Then, I understood what was meant by the thin line between love and hate. Because everything I feel for this boy now is hatred. But that was it; my whole world came crumbling right in from me.

I’m home now, sitting on the ground and starring at the broken pieces of my life, with some yearning to make it whole; like the one I had when I laid eyes on the shattered pieces of my favourite ornament from mum’s étagère. Why couldn’t he just say it? He formed it into a poem. Who does that? What hurts now, is how insensitive I was. Why couldn’t I have seen a break-up coming?

Damola

Her silence ate me more. I wished she would slap me, yell at me and lose it all. But she was quiet. The calmness expressed on her face hit deep and pierced through my heart, causing a sharp pain in my chest.

As I stared into her already watery eyes, I wished the ground would swallow me up. I wished I could take back all the words I said, but it was too late..

Broken Pieces Episode 1

BROKEN PIECES (episode One)

Ore

“Babe, we need to talk” were the last words I heard before the stupid network began to mess up, as usual. I was already on my way to his house, so I didn’t even bother calling back to inquire more about what we needed to talk about; although he sounded rather serious on the phone.

Damola, hmmn, he was my heartbeat, my first and I was going to make him my last. I remember the first day I met him. He had actually walked up to me and complemented my shoes. Oh that portentous day! I was mesmerized. I went to shop for those exact pair of shoes but in different colors, so he won’t say I’m repeating shoes, hehe. After the complement, I’m like thank you and I don’t give him a second look. Then he asks “Where did you get them?” Then I grudgingly turned over to look at the beauty that was staring at me. (It was like slow motion) The words “thank you” were too heavy to pass through my mouth. I felt numb. I raised my head subtly and said “Prince… I choked, Princess’ pride, it’s a store on the island…”

He was tall, dark skinned and there was something about him; from that day, I knew that we had something special. So, fast forward a couple of weeks, I discover Damola is actually Damola ‘Stunner’. Yeah, one of the most popular guys in school at that time. I just always heard his name, but never actually met him. I definitely saw a couple of pictures, albeit none did justice to what he really looked like physically. Damn, this guy was hot! He had the complete six packs *don’t even try to wonder how I found out.* He was a complete charmer; he loved me and I loved him even more. I could die for him…

PS: I can’t wait to get to his house; I’m praying now, I think he’s going to pop the big question *winks *fingers crossed.

Damola

So there’s this girl that I’ve been dating for quite some time. Well, since my third year in the university. We should have been together almost three years now. Sorry, I’m lying, six years. (if you know me and you are reading this, just shut up). Okay, the thing is: I’m more like Mr. Play boy rather than Mr. Loverman, so being with a babe six years, that’s a feat.

Okay, not to brag, I’m that dope, dapper, fine boy you’d always hit on, as long as you are a lady please. You need proof? The babe I was telling you about, her name is Ore. She was the hottest babe in school that time. God sure must have spent some extra time on her. Omo, the babe carry everthing; And her face was the true definition of beautiful *whew* I’m sure I haven’t even done her justice. All my friends then, were on her ‘p’, but like other girls, she would form and turn them down. So after much rehearsals and faithfully carrying out my “Salami” tactics on her, I decided to finally ask her out, hoping she won’t “nicely” turn me down like all those other stupid girls (*sniffs* I’m not angry). But really, some girls can be rather annoying, even ugly girls go dey form’

Anyway, my babe was a sure one, so she saved me the stress of asking her out. She asked me instead. I’m still yet to recover from the shock I had when I heard “Damola, will you be my boyfriend?” It was far from what I expected from a top-notch feminist.

That began our ‘love’ story which sadly ended some weeks back. I’m not a shallow guy that deals with the externals, but I can’t just fathom where all Ore’s sexiness and good looks went to. I can’t deal mehn. She looks like all these S.U girls now; be killing a nigger’s vibe with spirit, fire and church banter. So here’s the thing, I broke up with her some weeks ago (or maybe not), as my dear really doesn’t seem to get all the hints I’m trying to pass across to her. Anyway, yours truly has prepared an official break up speech/poem to be delivered to her today. So I’m trying to call her now but the network is acting up…

Kindly drop a comment and Stick around for episode 2 

Interview: with THE Davina Oriakhi

dAVINa

“I love my mum, I don’t know where I’d be without her”

Davina is an accounting student who defines the saying “Jack of all trades, who says you cannot master all”. I’d describe her as an epitome of ‘beauty and brains’

Read her interview with the SocioInspiration team below. NOTE: she talks a lot :)

Socioinspiration: Hi Davina

Davina: Hello

Socioinspiration: It’s great to have you here. Introduce yourself?

Davina: My name is Davina Oriakhi. I’m nineteen but I’m going to be twenty soon (laughs). Yea, I know I’m young but since I’m going to be twenty, no more teenage years for me.  I’m originally from Edo State. I’m the first child and only daughter of my parents. I have twin brothers after me.

Socioinspiration: So let’s get to what you do, I know you sing, dance, could you expatiate?
Davina: I’m happy you know I sing. People don’t think I sing. I sing I dance and I write songs, I write them almost all the time, I choreograph; I come up with routines even when I’m in the bathroom, like everywhere. And I love radio. I did an understudy with Kiss fm in Abuja last year and then I fell in love with the whole radio thing.

I was also the host for the first Nigerian Teens Choice award in Abuja.

Socioinspiration: wow, how did that happen?

Davina: Errm…once, somebody got me a gig to host a high school prom. It was from a lady I knew and she just said “oh I remember you like to talk and you can handle a crowd, so please come and do it and I’m like “oh? Okay”    Because most of the time, I just do ‘MC’ing’ because nobody else wants to. I never thought of it as something I’d keep doing. So I hosted the prom, I saw the C.E.O of Teens Network. He asked me to host the show which was going to come  up in a month and that would I do it for him and I was like I have to think about it first and so I did.  It was a really cool experience. I got to meet people, celebrities, I got to work with younger people, so it was cool, and I enjoyed it.

Socioinspiration: So let’s talk about achievements. As a person what do you think you wouldn’t have been able to do but have done?

Davina: Okay…first of all, you are actually asking me questions, which means you are interested in the stuff I do. That means you’ve learnt something from what I do. I think that’s enough achievement. Lauren Hill said something. She said that in hip hop, everybody is climbing a hill and when they get to the top of the hill; they are like I’m the king of the hill and I don’t need to go anywhere and she’s like there are other hills to climb. There are other people’s lives to touch; there are other people to serve. I think that’s the greatest achievement , when you are actually helping people, teaching people and inspiring people. For me, that’s an achievement

Davina, with Beyonce and other participants

Socioinspiration: So I’m coming to that Beyonce part

Davina: (Screams)

Socioinspiration: so how did you come across the Pepsi competition that led you to meeting Beyonce?

Davina: Okay I was tweeting (because I love tweeting) and my friend cc’ed me a link and I looked at it and it was #DOITLIKEBEYONCE and what you do is you dance to  grown woman, the steps  she did in the Pepsi commercial. When the commercial  came out a long time ago ,I learnt it so when I saw the competition, I was like  “I’ll do it now” although it was during exam.

And the day before my exam, I did the video, and uploaded it on YouTube. I thank God for my friends who were there to direct me (laughs). This is the part where people don’t know, I actually prayed and fasted to win because I love Beyonce, she’s my role model.

So when I saw the opportunity, I was like this can’t just leave me like that so I had so much faith, and I prayed and I fasted and there was a time when God said “stop asking me ,just praise me” and I was crying and rolling on the floor(laughs) and I was like I really want this. Later on, I was on Skype with my mum and she said "Davina, calm down, calm down, Pepsi just called me, ” and I was like…I was screaming and so when I finally got across to Pepsi, they told me they were going to process my flight ticket because it was an all expense paid trip. Every single thing was covered.

Socioinspiration: So how was that moment when you saw Beyonce?

Davina: It was like a dream. It was like my dream come true. We went to the Calvin Klein lounge. That’s where all the celebrities hung out and they were feeling cool. We were a lot from different countries, so we were a lot in the lounge and when she walked in, it was like a breath of fresh air. We knew somebody walked in and everybody just turned and she’s so small; she's my height. When I saw her, I was blown away. Like finally! This is you. And she is so beautiful. She’s even more beautiful in person. We were in groups and we got to tell her how much we love her and take pictures with her and she was so warm. She is such a sweet person and she is such an amazing performer, the concert was fire!

And then every time someone says “oh you are very lucky”, I’m like no, God just answers prayers. I prayed for this and God gave it to me.

Socioinspiration: Going back to dancing, what inspires you?

Davina with CEO dancers

Davina: Okay, first of all, dance is a way for me to forget that I have problems. Like I remember when I resumed and all I was anticipating was going to Ref room to dance. I was just excited. The passion for dancing is my inspiration. Then secondly, I love dancing with people. I think dance just gives us this happiness and everyone is happy and then I soak in Beyonce’s videos a lot, so I learn from her.  Beyonce inspires me a lot as well.

Socioinspiration: How are you able to combine school with the numerous things you are involved in?

Davina: Its God, it’s really not easy and secondly, I’ve learnt that if you prioritize, you will find time for everything, I get tired very easily, but people don’t know. Chris Brown said something, “24 hours is all you need” and prior to that, I used to say 24hrs wasn’t enough and so, Once, I sat down with my dance mentor and we talked about planning 24hrs in a day. It says you have to have this amount of time to read, this amount to do this and that. So we allocated hours to each day. I found out that it helped me and then number three, if you prioritize; you have to realize that you are in school first, so you have to do your assignments first. I’d use Hebron fm as an example: every Friday, I have to submit the script to be used for the show which airs on Saturday. And every Friday, we have an assignment we are meant to submit, so because school comes first, when everybody is running around the night before, I have done mine three days earlier. The day they give me the assignment, that’s when I do it. I have to do it that day and then the rest follows. It’s just easier that way.

Socioinspiration: So what’s next for you?

Davina: In 2014, I want to make music officially. Nobody has heard me singing. I want people to hear my music because I think I have so much to say, so I can’t wait for people to hear my music. This is the year.

Socioinspiration: So your advice to readers?

Davina: Well, first of all, if you love something very much, if you have passion for something, if you believe that you can do it, then you can do it. Like don’t ever be discouraged about anything, don’t ever!

Socioinspiration: Thank you very much Davina

Davina: It’s a pleasure

On a lighter note

Socioinspiration: Are you currently in any relationship?

Davina: No, I’m not

Socioinspiration: So you’re just tormenting all the boys?

Davina: hahaa! Which boys? Oh please!

SocioInspiration: Not being in a relationship. Is it more like a personal thing?

Davina: Yes, it’s personal, relationships are hard work. If you want to get into a relationship, you have to realize you can’t be selfish anymore; you have to live for two people and not just yourself. And you have to realize that you can’t just be in the relationship and be there for being sake. You have to add something to the person’s life and that person has to add something to you. You don’t just wake up and say oh I like that boy. NO, it takes more. So, with that, I prefer to be single for a while, observe and learn.

Socioinspiration: Do you have any major turnoffs?

Davina: I don’t like it when boys are proud. I don’t. You can be confident, I like it when guys are confident but when you are unnecessarily proud, it pisses me off. When they just blow you off with pride and disrespect you. I don’t like disrespectful boys. Yes, I’m a woman, but that doesn’t mean I’m weak. Respect me and I’ll respect you.

Twitter: @DavinaOriakhi

Email: davinaoriakhi@gmail.com

Check out Davina’s  videos here:  

PS: Today is Davina’s birthday; wish her a happy one below J

THE EPISODE: 'The day I was raped': a teenage confession

THE EPISODE

The bus jerked again for the umpteenth time. The cake in my hands swayed from side to side with each lousy movement of the bus. I muttered a prayer under my breath again. I was scared of these public buses, ‘Danfo’ as you may call it, but I had no choice. Industrial Training (IT) had been a wonderful experience, it had been fun working with beautiful people and my last day of work was gradually coming to an end. I thanked God for safe journey throughout the entire period.

I began to meditate or chat with the Holy Spirit as my friends usually described it. As the bus jerked again, this time, in some sort of continuous way, it made everyone look like we were bumping upward and downward at a fast manner and some nasty thoughts began to crawl in my mind. I quickly quenched the thought and began to focus my mind again.

Soon, the jerking stopped and it was calm again. I began to remember how beautifully my day had gone. One of my co-workers or co-interns, who I had a crazy crush on, had offered to follow me through one of the two public buses I was obligated to take before I could get back home. I was really happy not only because I desired some 'alone' time with him, but also because I was carrying two birthday cakes I had got for my mum’s birthday the next day; he offered to carry both. With joy unexplainable, I had tagged that day one I would never forget; but it also happened that life had planned another reason why I was never going to forget that day. Before leaving him, I had faked laughs through his numerous tacky jokes which I hoped would end. The next bus stop was where he had promised to stop and so, happy was I when the bus driver pulled over and signaled at those who wanted to alight.

As the bus made another turning, I let out a sigh of relief, I was finally home. Well, somewhere I knew very well, about ten minutes from my house. The bus was almost scanty, as people had dropped at earlier bus stops.  I couldn’t wait to get down and show my mum the cakes I had got her.

Then I suddenly saw the bus make a sharp u-turn, I wondered what was happening, but I wasn’t ready to waste my time wondering, I wasn’t taking any chances, this was a road I knew too well, it was a straight road and there were no other alternative routes. I peeked around and realized the other two women still in the bus were asleep. At the top of my voice, I began to scream, I felt my voice shake, I was nervous, I stuck my head through the battered looking window and called out “help me, help, help,, thieves, help me!! The conductor raised his hands and hit me. It hurt, but I was determined, nothing was going to stop me, so I kept screaming, the sellers along the roads and passers-by kept staring at me, I knew they heard me. I screamed louder but they wouldn’t listen. I saw fear in the eyes of the man that passed by as he briskly took off after a sharp sight at the bus conductor’s face. Then, I knew my hopes had been shattered. Then, I wondered what happened to the ‘communalistic’ nature I thought Nigerians had.

The bus soon stopped at somewhere that looked really isolated. I felt another punch on my face. I closed my eyes as I dreaded whatever was going to happen next…

The tears rolled down my eyes as I felt the pain. Not the pain from an intercourse, but pain from the fact that I felt used, destroyed; pain from seeing my blood flow down the dirty metal platform; pain as I felt everything I had leave me; pain from the regrets of keeping my virginity till this time. Pains from the comments I began to imagine my ‘friends’ make: “what she was stingy with was now taken free of charge by a rapist!! Haha!”

From that moment, I hated the citizens of my country for watching these men ruin my life and still refusing my cry for help, I hated the government who could provide better jobs for these men but didn’t, I hated those men for stripping me off my pride and I hated myself for being weak and not being able to protect my own. Did I hate God? The one whom I had placed all my trust in? No, but I hoped that as my damaged life went on, He would show me the purpose for that episode. I hoped that as my life went on, some meaning would unfold. I was hopeful, maybe in the end, I wasn’t weak. I had become a bold woman; Fearless and courageous

-Anjola Ogunsanwo

A 300level student of mass communication, Covenant University, an introvert who manages being social at a very respectable level. A lover of God and a lover of arts. Make-up artiste, head of SocioInspiration team,- check some of my posts on 360nobs.

Twitter- @anjola_xx

Email address- anjieola@gmail.com